Girls: if a guy ever pauses a video game just to text you back, he really loves you.. that, or he’s on a loading screen.
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if 3 people having sex is a threesome, and 2 people at it is a twosome, why is Handsome still a compliment?
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+?+(?_?)+?+………Dont show me ur attitude, if u this is my answer
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knock knock;a Girl:(opens door)
Boy:hey happy valentine
Girl:hey and here’s your present(gives da boy a watch)
Boy:wow and here’s your present but before you open it I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore
Girl:(girl sadly unwraps da small box and sees a ring and a note dat says “I want to be your husband instead,will u marry me?
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?”Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
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dont have phone sex you might get hearing AIDS lol
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Wife to husband: You were so drunk at that office party, I was so embarrassed! I cannot believe you did that to your boss!
Husband: I don’t care! I’ll piss on him!
Wife: You did. He fired you!
Husband: Well, f*ck him, then!
Wife: I did, you’re back at work on Monday!!! Eish!!!
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Dear Mother-in-law, Please do not try telling me how to raise my kids. I’m married to one of yours, and believe me, there is room for improvement!!!!!!
via Fun n Pun
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